The Myth of the Perfect Mother: How to escape the anger-guilt trap

Dr. Sophie Brock

Key Takeaways:

  • Cultural narratives shape motherhood, imposing an idealized version that expects perfection, self-sacrifice, and constant fulfillment.
  • The “Perfect Mother Myth” pressures mothers to be selfless, always present, and naturally attuned to their child, leading to guilt, shame, and self-doubt.
  • Motherhood involves a profound identity shift, often resulting in a loss of self and invisibility of personal needs and desires.
  • Societal structures place the burden of care solely on mothers, with a lack of support systems and neoliberal pressures encouraging self-sufficiency over communal caregiving.
  • Challenging the dominant narrative involves rejecting perfectionism, embracing imperfection and authenticity, and advocating for structural changes like better parental leave and community support.
  • Motherhood is a relational experience, where shared struggles and connection with other mothers foster healing and collective resilience.
  • Guided Practice: examine your internalized beliefs about motherhood, journal or discuss your experiences of guilt and pressure, and reframe your self-perception with self-compassion and grace.

 

Dr Sophie Brock is a Motherhood Studies Sociologist and Mother who offers education on the sociology of motherhood and how our broader society shapes our experience as mothers. Covering topics and concepts such as the perfect mother myth, the care/career conundrum, the anger-guilt trap and more, Sophie’s work contributes to changing the cultural construction of motherhood, to create a world where Mothers feel empowered, supported, and valued.

Sophie’s offerings include self-study courses for Mothers, mentoring for mother-supporting professionals, her podcast The Good Enough Mother, and The Motherhood Studies Practitioner Certification online training.

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